A tale of two headlines

Okay, so it’s more than two headlines.  It’s the concept of two different headlines for the same basic story, with VERY different undertones.  But it’s the headline that gets you going, and gets you into the story, which is all the more reason that this has been bugging me all day long.

I use Yahoo!’s “My Yahoo!” page as a news aggregate for me so I can keep up on things.  One headline that I kept seeing all day long was this one:

Wow.  Read the headline.  I did, and THEN I clicked on the link.  The link told you something VERY different.  Now let’s look at some other of the “LIBERAL MEDIA”.

Here is what ABC News had to say, not only in big bold letters, but with a picture of Holder.

Wow.  “NEVER APPEAR IN AN AMERICAN COURTROOM” the headline screams.  Damn commie bastard Obama must be going to tell bin Laden “tsk tsk tsk” and shoo him away, right?

Now lets try CBS News:

Wow.  That Eric Holder must be a DOUCHE, because this headline implies that bin Laden is going to be allowed to keep his silence forever and never have to say a word about anything.  And since when is “Tiger Woods” more of a hot topic than bin Laden?  I mean, Tiger may have slept with a bunch of women.  Oh, I get it.  Tiger has bin Laden’s 72 virgins.  Well, WERE virgins.

Let’s see what FOX News has to say, shall we?

Well it was kind of buried on FOXNews.com, so I had to hunt for it.  And weird.  FOX didn’t call him “bin Laden”, they called him “Usama”, which sounds and looks a LOT like “Obama”.  Is Obama on trial for something?  Oh yeah, we were talking about bin Laden, not President Obama.  My bad.

Okay then.  Lets look at that “bastion of the left” MSNBC and see what they have to say, eh?

It’s kind of in small print, and not easy to find on the page.  But hey! They imply that bin Laden is going to get off scott free, now don’t they?  Wow.

So, like, the New York Times.  They’re in the know with that leftist hippy socialist crowd, right?  Hmmm…

Man.  Not only does the New York Times give you the headline that bin Laden will always be free, hell with the first sentence from the article, it sounds like bin Laden will be driving a two ton Chevy truck down your street.  Better lock up your kids, because the New York Times says bin Laden will roam free and use them for bait!

How about Time Magazine?  Sure, they’re a weekly, but they have to have a say, right?

Yep.  Time and the New York Times agree.  Mothers, hide your children.

Okay, so now that you’re all enraged because Osama bin Laden is not only invading your neighborhood, but he’s probably planning on poisoning your kids Halloween candy, deflowering your oldest daughter, call you during dinner to sell you a time share, and talk during the BEST parts of whatever movie you’re seeing this weekend.  But then again, what if you looked at a different news source?  What if you just per chance, stumbled upon a news source that not every mainstream person in the US would go to on a regular basis?

Let’s try NPR.  They’re some sort of government socialist plot news story service, right?  What do they have to say?

WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?!?!? What in the hell is this “won’t be captured alive” bullcrap?  We’ve all been led to believe bin Laden is being protected by Holder and Obama, and was probably bowling with the first family every alternate Tuesday night.

Now for the real test.  Let’s look at the Huffington Post, ’cause we know they’re just downright wrong, right?

Not captured alive?  Wow.  That makes Holder sound a little butch.

You see what is going on here?  Hype and confusion may stir up a mess, get you higher ratings for a bit, and more clicks and webads, but people realize – when they take the time – that you are fucking with their heads.  You, the “main stream media” are doing a number on them, frightening them out of their skins, just to turn a profit.  A true journalist would not allow a line like CBS, MSNBC, CNN, Time, or the like to put out.  And if you look at each of their stories on each website, it says in the first few sentences what Holder REALLY said and REALLY meant.

So mainstream media?  You can bite it.  Because we’re not as dumb as you want us to be.  We can hit back, and we can do the news ourselves – and do a better job at it.